Enneagram Type Three (the Achiever)
Enneagram Type Seven (the Enthusiast)
What Each Type Brings to the Relationship
This is a highly complementary pair: both types are self-assertive, have high energy, and are outgoing and capable of being around people with relative ease. Both types bring optimism, a future orientation, the sense of possibility and renewal to their relationships and to enterprises they become involved with. Threes can work alone more easily than Sevens, although both are stimulated by interacting with people and both can be excellent communicators of their ideas and values. Both are persuasive and articulate, often lively and attractive, making them sought after company. Both have a youthful orientation such that they feed off of each other’s energy: no other couple is as vivacious or gregarious as the Three/Seven couple. This is probably the highest energy combination of types and they wholeheartedly engage in lots of activities, plans and projects, with the emphasis on attaining the good life. The focus is on sociability, going out, having adventures together and on realizing possibilities and on finding personal fulfillment.
To this mix, Threes bring sensitivity to people and how to communicate with them, a sense of propriety, appropriateness, and social conventions, as well as the ability to focus on goals and get them accomplished. Sevens bring a sense of fun and adventure, resilience, and not being overly concerned with failure. Sevens can be spontaneous in ways that are helpful to more self-conscious Threes. Sevens bring breadth of knowledge and experience, boundless enthusiasm and good spirits. Threes bring a focus on goals, on staying practical and grounded, and on observing healthy limits. This can be a fun, articulate, generous pair, virtually sparkling with vitality and the joy of life. This can sometimes seem to others to be an almost magical couple.
Potential Trouble Spots or Issues
This is also an extremely volatile couple: there is almost too much electricity under one roof. A Three/Seven pair always looks like a great couple, but this can also mean having to live up their own hype. They can be exhausting to keep up with and their mutual qualities make it difficult to admit to or look at problems. They both feel the pressure to be “fabulous” and perfect all of the time. Both types seem light-hearted, and unconcerned; yet, in their high-energy routines they often hurt each others without realizing it. Often this results in a backlog of past hurts that have been suppressed until it is too late and too much damage has been done.
Depending on their Level of health, Threes can become workaholics, completely focused on achieving success, building more prestige, and planning career moves with the care of a general, so much so that relationship and family life takes a distinct second place, if that. By contrast, Sevens tend not to take their career as seriously as Threes, always feeling that if things do not go well in one job they can move to something better. On the surface, Threes seem to have as much self-confidence as Sevens; in reality, they do not, which is why they feel they need to promote themselves and their accomplishments. Threes may be envious of the easy success of Sevens, while Sevens may feel that too much fun and enjoyment is being sacrificed for the Three’s focus on career. Sevens may get the feeling that they only exist to prop up the Three in various ways. Neither type wants to talk about their shortcomings, failures, or negative feelings and so these topics tend to be avoided for as long as possible. Often either a health or career crisis will bring things to the surface: Sevens do not want to be trapped in a relationship that is no longer enjoyable, Threes do not want to be in a relationship that has failed. Once they doubt that the other is there for them, they turn toward self-centered attitudes which further erode the relationship. A break can come abruptly and be permanent.