Enneagram Type One (the Reformer)
Enneagram Type One (the Reformer)
What Each Type Brings to the Relationship
As with all double-type relationships, two Enneagram Ones bring the same general qualities to each other. Therein lies both a main source of the attraction as well as one of the main pitfalls of this pair. Two Ones will be concerned with fairness, truthfulness, keeping agreements, schedules, consistency, and treating the other with respect and dignity. Work and taking care of responsibilities will tend to come first, with play and pleasure taking a back seat for this couple. Vacations and leisure, partying and recreation will all be fitted in after the more important things are accomplished. Each will feel like (and take the role of) the adult in most situations, making for a highly competent, rational approach to life and problem solving.
In their dealings with each other (as well as with family and friends), two Ones will want to be objective and reasonable, fair and truthful above all else—and will seek these qualities in others. They create an atmosphere of clarity and precision in which their own interactions with each other (and with friends and family) feel clean—not sticky or sentimental or loaded with unspoken ulterior motives. A double One pairing often is created and sustained by shared ideals as well as the desire to put those ideals into practice. Both Ones are typically people who have solid convictions which they enjoy talking about, often with noteworthy articulateness and passion. They also typically have a certain strength of character and a degree of wisdom—which both admire in the other. They could not bear being in a relationship with someone they did not respect and whose character was not sterling. Ones bring their hard-earned wisdom to others, above all, by fighting for tolerance, dignity, and rights of everyone.
Potential Trouble Spots or Issues
Both Ones are governed by a strong sense of right and wrong as well as a sense of responsibility, giving them a feeling of self-restraint and a tendency to feel responsible both for themselves and for everything else in their lives—including the quality of the relationship itself. There can be a noticeable tone of formality in this combination with a reluctance to say or do anything that would be undignified or out of keeping with their sense of propriety and appropriateness. They will have little tolerance for sloppiness, error, or whatever they define as childish behavior in anyone. Irritation and condescending sarcasm are how they express anger with each other, occasionally exploding into a litany of long-standing grievances that have been loaded in their mental account books. Easily frustrated by mistakes or lapses in themselves, they are equally aware of short-comings in each other.
Average Ones can begin to make the other into a perpetual, unfinished improvement project, although two Ones may well find it too uncomfortable to treat each other this way. They may strike an unspoken deal with each other in which their main criticisms are directed toward others or toward social problems instead. They may bond with each other by becoming indignant about issues and the errors and foolishness of others. They may thus climb atop Olympus together and look down on the world from their privileged, condescending vantage point. Depending on their Level of health, double One couples tend to find few people who measure up to their high standards, with the result that there are fewer social interactions and increasing self-imposed isolation. Some eccentricity and strange habits (both personally and as a couple) can result as they withdraw more completely from most human connections. Two Ones can begin to feel that they are all the world they need-but it can begin to be a cold, unforgiving world as they also begin to barely tolerate each other.